Adoption Chronicles: Our Journey

Brandy and I have come to the decision to adopt a child from Asia.  This is a bombshell, I know, and that is part of the reason for this blog.  Through our research and talking with other adoptive families, it was suggested that we start a blog about our adoption journey.  We were told that it is a great way to keep everyone informed.  It also helps us and the readers to see just how we got where we are. We promise to try to keep our posts as clear, short, and informative as possible.  However, we’ve got to tell you how we got where we are now, and that’s taken no less than two years.  Also, if you’ve ever talked to Brandy or read anything I’ve written, short and concise are not our forte.

It might help if I start by answering some questions, “Why don’t you try to have your own?  Why do you want to adopt?  Why would you go out of the country to adopt when there are children right here?”


Let me start by saying that we did not come to this decision over night.  Let’s rewind.  Two years ago, adoption was barely in my vocabulary.  I’m not even sure what triggered the journey to adoption.  Have you ever stopped yourself and asked, “How did I get here?”  I can only say with certainty, that God has a plan and we are only just beginning to see it unfold.

Why don’t we try to have our own?  
This has been a question we have been asked since before we even got married.  When Brandy and I were dating, we had the inevitable discussion about children.  I had always pictured having two kids, three years apart.  Brandy had pretty much decided that she didn’t want children.  All I knew was that I loved Brandy, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, even if that meant my family would only consist of her and myself.  Regardless, we knew we wanted to spend the first few years of our marriage getting to know each other.  Our lives have changed so much over the past seven years of being together.  Who we were then and who we are now, might not know each other if we passed in the street.  Now, we both know that our family is going to be more than just the two of us.  Somewhere along the way we have decided that we want to have one child the normal way (the way that doesn’t need a blog for everyone to understand), and we want to adopt at least one child.

Why do we want to adopt?
I think it’s gotta be the same for all or most who adopt.  It’s just a calling.  It started as a whisper, but God has been speaking much louder and clearer that this is something He wants us to do.  It’s something I never saw myself doing, but my heart has been changed.  We now know the beauty of adoption.  We know that it is one of the greatest examples of God’s love because He first adopted us.  Our hearts break every time we hear a story of an innocent child or baby who is mistreated.   So, this is why we want to adopt.  We want to make a difference in one child’s life.  We want to show them the love of Christ and give them a life that they would not have known otherwise.  

Why would you go out of the country to adopt when there are children right here?
The most simple and most important answer to this question, it’s what we feel lead to do.  We are not called to adopt domestically.  We support domestic adoption whole-heartedly, but there were a few things that stopped us in our tracks when we considered domestic adoption.  As I said, we just haven’t been lead towards domestic adoption.  I even asked the domestic vs. international adoption question to a customer of mine who adopted internationally.  What he said sold me on international adoption.  His reasoning was based on a fear of what would happen if the mother or father one day decided they wanted their baby back.  I could think of few things harder for an adoptive parent to have to go through.  Now, I have heard plenty of stories about domestic adoption and children who have known their birth parents and their adopted parents, so I am not trying to sway anyone towards international adoption.  It’s just that this is how it is for us.  Yes, I know the same thing that I fear could happen with international adoption as well.  Our calling is to adopt a child from Asia, and we want to have a child that is ours and only ours.